Tomorrow is our first ultrasound to make sure that this is not an ectopic pregnancy (we are not expecting a heartbeat this early). I thought I’d give a few updates as we hold our breath until tomorrow (not recommended, by the way!).
– My second beta at 20dpo was 2361. For those keeping score at home, that’s a doubling time of about 35 hours (yippee!). Everything’s on the high end, which is probably good news (unless it’s an ectopic pregnancy). My mom, the women’s health nurse practitioner, says that the doctor in her practice mentioned that with betas as high as mine, she’d expect me to start having symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy around now — so far no spotting or pain, so I’m starting to get dangerously optimistic!
– Because of my history of placental abruption and second trimester loss, my RE put me on supplementary progesterone this week. I’m on Crinone 8% gel twice a day — this is icky stuff, you guys! But hey, I’m not complaining — whatever it takes to have a healthy pregnancy!
– Assuming we’re in luck tomorrow and it’s not ectopic, I can confirm (as a public service announcement because I tried to google this six ways from Sunday after our first loss): if you have implantation bleeding in a first pregnancy, you will not necessarily have implantation bleeding in your second pregnancy. Just FYI.
– Symptom spotting: sore breasts (since, like, before the BFP), bloating, cramping/stretching, fatigue, and a bit of nausea. Before we lost our daughter last fall I’d never in my life had trouble falling or staying asleep, but since then I’ve hardly been able to sleep through the night — lots of awakening at 4am, 5am, etc. with my mind buzzing. Turns out that a side benefit of pregnancy is that it cures insomnia! I don’t know if it’s purely psychological at this early stage (getting pregnant again has felt like it’s healed a deep wound in my soul), or physical (this is what I remember most from the first trimester of my first pregnancy — the deep and constant need to be unconscious), but whatever it is, it feels good!
– Social awkwardness: we had told a few close friends/family that we were starting IVF. Since they’re awesome, they keep asking how things are going. So far I’ve mostly deflected inquiries — I want to wait at least until we know that this thing is in my uterus and not my fallopian tubes. Fortunately it’s not a lie to say “we have a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday and we’ll know more then.”
Thanks so much for all your good wishes as we deal with this nail-biter of a wait to make sure this pregnancy isn’t ectopic, and to find out if it’s viable. I’m so very hopeful, and feeling so good about this pregnancy, that it scares me. If it’s going to end, please let it end soon. If it’s not… wow. Wow, wow, wow.