More good news! Yesterday we went for our first visit with Maternal-Fetal Medicine. We saw that heartbeat flickering away, and our baby is still measuring perfectly on track. We really liked the MFM doctor we saw — she was clear and straightforward when she talked to us, answered our questions and addressed our concerns thoroughly, and was friendly and reassuring. I hope we’ll see her again during this pregnancy. One thing that was cool about going to MFM was that they have these really great ultrasound machines that produce amazing images — I was totally confused when she said she was going to do an ultrasound, because nobody had asked me to undress and from my experience with my first pregnancy I know that it’s normal to get transvaginal ultrasounds up through week 10 or more. But at 7w4d she just slapped some gel on my belly and zoomed right in on the flickering heartbeat. It was so cool!
It was also good to have a chance to ask some questions about my Lovenox — apparently (this is for Empty Arms, Full Hearts in particular) I should in fact be depressing the plunger enough to activate the needle guard while it is still in my belly! But the nurse did mention that it’s different for every manufacturer, so it’s important to follow whatever instructions you get from your manufacturer. If you’re using needles from a different manufacturer, it’s in fact likely that you’re not supposed to activate the needle guard while it’s in your belly! So confusing!
And here’s the academic quandary: a couple of months ago, I was asked by the big national facility I use for my science to give a talk on their behalf at next February’s meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS). These sessions are pretty high-profile advertisements for the science that I do, and they tend to attract lots of press. It’s a real honor to be asked. Well, today I got the email that our session proposal had been accepted, and that I need to email them within the next two weeks to re-confirm my availability and make arrangements for the meeting. Cue hyperventilation!!! The meeting takes place mere days before my due date. Odds are I won’t be able to go, and I don’t want to lie to them — I want to make sure they have plenty of time to find a replacement if necessary. But especially with a high-risk pregnancy in the first trimester, I really, really don’t want to disclose my pregnancy right now. I’d been planning to wait to tell work colleagues until after we passed the 18-week point at which our first pregnancy ended — but that’s not until September.
So, I’m not sure what I should do. I could tell them, but that didn’t work out so well last time around. It happens that my PhD thesis advisor was also asked to speak on the panel, and I believe has done this before, so I could ask him for his advice. He doesn’t have biological kids (he adopted his daughter as a teenager when he married her mother) and is clueless about pregnancy, but I generally trust his advice and wouldn’t be too uncomfortable disclosing early to him. Any advice?