Not My First Mother’s Day

I’m sure that anyone reading my blog is highly attuned to the fact that Mother’s Day is this Sunday.  Already, well-meaning people have started gushing about how this is my first Mother’s Day as a mother.

It’s not.

This Mother’s Day is very bittersweet.  My feelings are still quite fresh from last Mother’s Day, which was 8 long months after our daughter’s death and just a few weeks before we found out that I was pregnant with Soren.  My feelings are also still fresh from two Mother’s Days ago, when we were just about to start infertility treatment, again just a few weeks before we found out that I was pregnant with our daughter.  Those two painful Mother’s Days are very much in my mind as I also reflect on the joy that it has been to be Soren’s mother for the last 2.5 months — finally, mother to the living child that I dreamed of for so long.

This Mother’s Day, I send love and strength to the invisible mothers.  The mothers who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death.  The women who are mothers in their hearts as they toil through infertility tests and treatment.  I also send love and strength to the women who lost their own mothers far too soon, especially the women who will never experience the loving sandwich of having a living mother while also being a mother to a living child.  It’s a beautiful and wonderful time of life, and something that I will never, ever take for granted.

While this isn’t my first Mother’s Day, it’s by far my best Mother’s Day.  I am surrounded by love, and my love surrounds my newborn son.

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8 thoughts on “Not My First Mother’s Day

  1. mymiraclerainbow

    Happy Mothers day!. Like you said, each of us is a mom by heart, whether we have a living child or not❤️. Its a perfect mothers day with a little one in our hand❤️. Love and hugs!!

    Reply
  2. jwhitworth7

    This is so beautifully said. I have the exact same feelings you do. Two years ago I was pregnant with Oliver and last year I got pregnant with Luke around this time. Last year this day was so very hard as being an invisible mother is. I remember having that same thought last year….that the day wasn’t just hard for mothers who lost babies but for anyone without a mother. I’m thinking of you and your daughter and son this Mothers Day!

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Reflections on Mother’s Day | thewhitworthsNC

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