Well, whaddya know. I’m pregnant.
It has never taken us less than 8 months to conceive before. This time, first try. We are thrilled and a little stunned. I’ve always been a little skeptical of the stories you read of how people who have experienced infertility/loss often get pregnant quickly after a full-term, healthy pregnancy — I mean, maybe it happens to some people, but I was sure it wouldn’t happen to me. Well, here I am!
For now, of course. I know as well as anyone that first trimester miscarriage is a distinct possibility, as are losses at later stages of pregnancy, as are all manner of other health problems (I’m still at elevated risk for ectopic pregnancy and placental abruption, for example). But for now I’m pregnant, and that’s a very, very good thing.
We’re a little shocked at the timing — I mean, we were trying to get pregnant, obviously, but we just didn’t expect it to happen this quickly. Of course our minds started jumping to the possible reality of having a new baby join our family in January. Two under two — yikes! It would also throw a monkey wrench into my tenure plans (I’d been on track to submit my materials a year and a half from now), but… we’ll deal with that. Our family is more important than my tenure case, and if I wind up using both my clock extensions and spending nine years on the tenure clock, so be it.
I was also just starting to cut back on pumping at work this week, but for the moment I’m still breastfeeding/pumping four times a day, which is going to start feeling like a lot as I get more pregnant. But… what if I wean, and then miscarry? I’ll be mourning the loss of a baby simultaneously to mourning the loss of a wonderful breastfeeding relationship. I suppose I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing (i.e., weaning from the pump during the day, since I would never mourn the loss of a relationship with my pump!) and see how things go over the next few weeks. I’ve got a viability scan scheduled for a week from Monday, after which we’ll know a little more (and, if all goes well, I’ll start back on Lovenox).
What a weird and wonderful week it’s been. Pregnant again. Holy cow. Here’s hoping this little bean sticks around!