Well, folks, do I get a prize for surviving my third HSG today? They are always super-fun, of course, but actually today’s was basically a non-event — catheter/balloon placement was not even a little bit painful. Not sure whether the difference is due to having had a full-term delivery since my last one or whether I just had a magical doctor doing the placement, but hey, I’ll take it!
As for the results, they were very good — better than I thought I could expect, really. Both sides spilled dye almost right away, and the radiologist told me there was really only a little bit of scarring noticeable and only slight dilation on the left. I don’t know if it’s even possible, but this HSG seemed much better than the one three years ago, when the dye only partly spilled and they told me I had a partial hydrosalpinx on the left. So, good news, I suppose! Although also no magical interventions to help this process go faster, presumably.
There was one thing that came up on the HSG that I am interested in asking my doctor about when I see her next week to debrief about this 3-month testing ordeal. The radiologist pointed out to me some synechiae on the fundus of my uterus. They were pretty obvious — it looked like a little notch taken out of the top of my uterus with little fingers poking out on either side. He said, “With a history like yours, I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a little scarring,” and seemed to mostly downplay it. But scarring and uterine irregularities are some of the main known and treatable causes of RPL, so I’m wondering whether it’s significant enough that the RE might want to do something about it. I’m also wondering why it didn’t show up on the SHG I had in December. So, that’s something to bring up at my appointment on Tuesday.
And with that, I’m done with testing. Hooray! No obvious major problems, which is good in a way, but which also means no obvious solutions. I’m sure I’ll update more after my follow-up appointment with the RE this coming Tuesday. I’m expecting she’ll just tell me to go away and try on our own for six months or something, but who knows? I am turning 35 this weekend, so maybe she’ll be more likely to want to intervene to step up the pace?
In other news, the semester is in full swing, I’ve got two big gen-ed classes and a seminar this semester with >100 students altogether, we just got back from a lovely weekend visiting dear friends in Boston, and next weekend we’re off to Texas for a conference, with kiddo in tow as we visit friends. S is experimenting with two-word phrases, continuing his “hide and seek” obsession phase, and just generally getting ready to turn two in a couple of weeks. I’m finally feeling like I’ve come out of the funk of last fall, when the weight of my dad’s death on top of two miscarriages in a row just put me over the edge.
As I’ve gone through all the heartbreak and waiting of the past 9 months, I often just take a step back and reflect on how fortunate I am to have S with me this time around. He is the light of my life and the apple of my eye and all the cliches in one tiny little toddler-shaped body. Whenever I am with him, I soak up the snuggles, knowing he’ll be too big too soon. There is never a moment that I take his existence for granted. I continuously marvel at what a miracle he is. And he gives me hope that someday this process just might work again and we might add a whole new layer of love to our beautiful family. I have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to hope for.